Unmask. Set boundaries. Leave the job that is harming you. Rest until you recover. Every one of those is a purchase, and we keep offering them as though they were free.
This describes so many of the challenges I myself have faced, coming from a working-class family of immigrants. Thank you for highlighting them in a way that is not condescending!
Pausing for all the thoughts to percolate because systematic oppression and privilege is so insidious that even those of us who rally against it do not always recognise we are replaying it within our own communities - well said.
These are things I’ve been considering since I started writing my book on ADHD burnout and it’s one of the reasons I’m publishing on Substack for free. Thank you for speaking to this. Am having a low capacity day today and this one evoked tears.
In this very position myself and one of those who can’t rest and take time out. I appreciate you writing about this topic because being told to unmask, rest, leave work and reduce sensory load gets to be pretty patronising when you’ve been single parenting for 24 years whilst recovering from long term issues with substance abuse. Not only do I not want to stop working, because believe it or not I actually like working, but I’ll be damned if I end up slipping back into that way of living. Best to keep moving, for now.
"...it stops being a liberation framework and becomes a set of standards people fail to meet. Which is the thing we objected to in the first place." Right? When movements for freedom are taken over by rigidity they become another flavor of restriction. Thanks for your careful writing. I will be honest that your post is so rich that it's easily two posts and I am still digesting your first call to recognize the privilege of rest. And I am really glad that people like you are using their privilege to call out that system and hopefully we can make an infrastructure where care and rest extend to all the people and indeed to the nonhumans too. Gonna sit with all that and then read the second half of your meaty post! Thanks for being you.
Not just Black and Brown bodies, but also those who are North, Central or East Asian, Indigenous, multiracial, or light-skinned racialized minorities. As a Chinese AuDHDer, the use of phrasing like “Black or Brown bodies” invisibilizes my struggles as a multiply-marginalized “yellow” Asian person, inadvertently perpetuating the very oppressions and lack of nuance that I believe you mean to call in within the neurodiversity movement.
It would be more inclusive to say “racialized minorities” or “non-White bodies.” The model minority myth coupled with Western anti-Asian sentiments often impact those of us who exist in these specific intersections by diminishing our struggles, and if decolonizing is more than an aspirational goal but an actual commitment, we must all examine our word choices and demonstrate the cultural humility and openness to shift and correct when we have unintentionally harmed.
Thank you for this feedback. I really appreciate you taking the time to name what my language left out. You’re right that “Black and Brown bodies” does not encompass all racialized people or the different ways racism operates across communities.
I’ll be more careful with my language going forward and use “racialized minorities” when that’s what I actually mean. I also appreciate you naming the model minority myth and anti-Asian racism specifically. Decolonization requires exactly this kind of ongoing attention to who disappears inside the language we use.
This subject is personal for me. I’m 73, and I spent my life in the military and later in the medical field — neither offered any accommodations for autism. What worked for me was finding jobs where I had enough independence to create my own supports. The simplest, most effective, and least costly solution has always been understanding and autonomy, not advice. That’s what I focus on in my writing, because I want to help others who’ve lived similar lives.
My dad is 73. He is autistic and has just recently except that fact. He was in the Navy and very much like you was able to find roles and positions where he had full autonomy. One thing I have to remind him often is that it’s different for women, but he did teach me that my autonomy was my right. We were called stubborn I think we just were on something.
Wow. "Nobody counts the denied" I think that could be the phrase that ignites a movement. In the UK I think our help and benefits system is probably a bit more user friendly than the US, but it still falls far short of being fair. All those outcomes of people denied help are never considered.
Thank you for this. I've given up on looking for ideas or advice, because they inevitably assume availability of resources that I do not have access to it. It is almost always just as demoralizing as the original problem the advice is meant to eliminate. It's a waste of time to ask for support or advice from anyone who can't or won't consider the reality of minimal available resources when concocting ways out these problems they think they are solving.
This describes so many of the challenges I myself have faced, coming from a working-class family of immigrants. Thank you for highlighting them in a way that is not condescending!
Thank you - very well described, and very important
Pausing for all the thoughts to percolate because systematic oppression and privilege is so insidious that even those of us who rally against it do not always recognise we are replaying it within our own communities - well said.
These are things I’ve been considering since I started writing my book on ADHD burnout and it’s one of the reasons I’m publishing on Substack for free. Thank you for speaking to this. Am having a low capacity day today and this one evoked tears.
🫂
In this very position myself and one of those who can’t rest and take time out. I appreciate you writing about this topic because being told to unmask, rest, leave work and reduce sensory load gets to be pretty patronising when you’ve been single parenting for 24 years whilst recovering from long term issues with substance abuse. Not only do I not want to stop working, because believe it or not I actually like working, but I’ll be damned if I end up slipping back into that way of living. Best to keep moving, for now.
"...it stops being a liberation framework and becomes a set of standards people fail to meet. Which is the thing we objected to in the first place." Right? When movements for freedom are taken over by rigidity they become another flavor of restriction. Thanks for your careful writing. I will be honest that your post is so rich that it's easily two posts and I am still digesting your first call to recognize the privilege of rest. And I am really glad that people like you are using their privilege to call out that system and hopefully we can make an infrastructure where care and rest extend to all the people and indeed to the nonhumans too. Gonna sit with all that and then read the second half of your meaty post! Thanks for being you.
Not just Black and Brown bodies, but also those who are North, Central or East Asian, Indigenous, multiracial, or light-skinned racialized minorities. As a Chinese AuDHDer, the use of phrasing like “Black or Brown bodies” invisibilizes my struggles as a multiply-marginalized “yellow” Asian person, inadvertently perpetuating the very oppressions and lack of nuance that I believe you mean to call in within the neurodiversity movement.
It would be more inclusive to say “racialized minorities” or “non-White bodies.” The model minority myth coupled with Western anti-Asian sentiments often impact those of us who exist in these specific intersections by diminishing our struggles, and if decolonizing is more than an aspirational goal but an actual commitment, we must all examine our word choices and demonstrate the cultural humility and openness to shift and correct when we have unintentionally harmed.
Thank you for this feedback. I really appreciate you taking the time to name what my language left out. You’re right that “Black and Brown bodies” does not encompass all racialized people or the different ways racism operates across communities.
I’ll be more careful with my language going forward and use “racialized minorities” when that’s what I actually mean. I also appreciate you naming the model minority myth and anti-Asian racism specifically. Decolonization requires exactly this kind of ongoing attention to who disappears inside the language we use.
Thank you for calling me in with care. 💛
This is something that keeps me awake every night as someone that was there and as someone that got help.
This subject is personal for me. I’m 73, and I spent my life in the military and later in the medical field — neither offered any accommodations for autism. What worked for me was finding jobs where I had enough independence to create my own supports. The simplest, most effective, and least costly solution has always been understanding and autonomy, not advice. That’s what I focus on in my writing, because I want to help others who’ve lived similar lives.
My dad is 73. He is autistic and has just recently except that fact. He was in the Navy and very much like you was able to find roles and positions where he had full autonomy. One thing I have to remind him often is that it’s different for women, but he did teach me that my autonomy was my right. We were called stubborn I think we just were on something.
Wow. "Nobody counts the denied" I think that could be the phrase that ignites a movement. In the UK I think our help and benefits system is probably a bit more user friendly than the US, but it still falls far short of being fair. All those outcomes of people denied help are never considered.
Thank you for this. I've given up on looking for ideas or advice, because they inevitably assume availability of resources that I do not have access to it. It is almost always just as demoralizing as the original problem the advice is meant to eliminate. It's a waste of time to ask for support or advice from anyone who can't or won't consider the reality of minimal available resources when concocting ways out these problems they think they are solving.